Conversations that should have been
If I could I would, hug my dad, have one of our walks, and chat.
If I could I would, not be angry with him, for focusing on making money instead of spending time with me. Oh how angry I was. Why was this more important? I didn’t give a shit about the BMW. 25 years is a long time full of coulds and shoulds, that never will be.
When my dad died, I was 13. It felt as if a piece of my soul was ripped out of my body, it took me more than 2 years to begin to cry. But there was pain, and anger, so much anger. Nobody knew anything, I held all the truth, secure in my knowledge that only I knew and everyone else was just stupid. Because that’s what the teenage brain does, and a teenage brain on grief is a special edition–no matter if this grief comes from loss, trauma, divorce of parents, abusive mothers.
Fighting against everyone and myself. But it got better, and at some point when the realization began to emerge that I did not hold the truth and the whole truth, but there was more–oh so much more–to every story, the healing began.
A random collection of stuff
9 browser photo editors:
Some of them are fairly sophisticated. Worthwhile experimenting.
Crafting stuff to do:
Happy Colours Room Decor
Digi-Art Disney Princesses in 2017
This one is actually called the gift of Dyslexia:
A song that reduces anxiety: scientifically proven
Breathe against anxiety:
Watching ‘Once’: that’s the key theme
How to beat anxiety with science:
You are worth so much more than hurt pride, manipulation, and ego. You are so much more beautiful, so much stronger, so much smarter than that.