Parental Alienation Day: Live Light Installation

Today I am not sharing my own work, but the work of my partner. He has worked in light-design for over 17 years, and on parental alienation day 2019, finally decided to create his own designs. The development took about a month, and as any good perfectionist, there are much more and more sophisticated things to be done if there would have been more time. The LED screen is 7×2 meters.

Background Interview

I interviewed dad erased before the live stream.

What was your inspiration?

I wanted to use colour and movement within the words displayed to highlight my own personal fears, anxieties, worries, and hate (anger) in dealing with parental alienation What inspired me were a lot of the words from various Twitter, Facebook, Blogs account of people talking about their own experiences of dealing with Parental Alienation and how they miss their kids, and the fights they have with systems that are adversarial; who choose to have a winner and a looser.

The other part of the inspiration (or admiration) is how, even after 10/12 years of battling with everything being against them in most cases they eventually are able to have an ongoing relationship with their kids. The saddest ones I have not talked about are the relationships that have not been fixed, the utterly completely broken relationships, and how it affects the targeted parents and the children as well, and sometimes it doesn’t get fixed, and it is such a loss of time, such a loss of time.

How did you go about developing the installation?

How I have done it is: this is just a tiny glimpse into how I feel about parental alienation. There is so much more that you could say; you could spend years researching PA and come up with so many different scenarios and situations and feelings and words. What I am trying to say is … the more I get into it; the more feeling I get behind it, and hopefully I can express better how I deal with it or how I am not dealing with it as an alienated parent myself.

What do you want to achieve?

I want to give a voice to the unseen who are lost in an adversarial system who chooses to establish winners and losers, and ultimately fails our children.

This is the glossary for the Abbreviations Section:

SAID – Sexual Allegations in Divorce
CIAF – Child Impact Assessment Service
VotC – Voice of the Child
CMS – Child Maintenance Service
CSA – Child Support Agency
PASG – Parental Alienation Study Group
PAAO – Parental Alienation Awareness Organisation
Cafcass – Children and family court advisory and support Service
NAAP – National Association of Alienated Parents
MATCH – Mothers apart from their children
FNF – Families need Fathers
JUMP – Jewish Unity for Multiple Parenting
FPS – Family Psychology Solutions
DADs – Dads Against Double Standards
PAPA – Parents Against Parental Alienation
F4J – Fathers for justice
SPARK – Support for the Parentally Alienated thru Random Acts of Kindness
PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
WHO – World Health Organisation
AAPA – Association Against Parental Alienation
PAS – Parental Alienation Syndrome
SPAN – Stop Parental Alienation Now
PAWWSG – Parental Alienation World Wide Support Group
FRI – Fathers Rights Ireland
EAPAP – European Association of Parental Alientation Practitioners
PAAA – Parental Alienation Awareness Association
HAP – Hostile Aggressive Parenting
PAA – Parental Alienation Awareness
NAOPAS – National Association of Parental Alienation Specialists
PASI – PAS Intervention
NPO – National Parents Organization
NPAF – NATIONAL PARENTAL ALIENATION FOUNDATION
CSPAS – Canadian Symposium For Parental Alienation Syndrome
PAD – Parental Alienation Disorder
ECTHR – European Court of Human Rights
ECHR – European Convention of Human Rights
HRA – Human Rights Act
Unicef – UN Convention on the Rights of the Child
PEF – Platform for Europeans Fathers
ICD-11 – WHO International Classification of Diseases
JM2P – I Love My 2 Parents
APIPDF – Association for Parental Equality and Children’s Rights
BOLD – bubbles of love day
HCS – High Conflict Separations
CAFE – Canadian Association for Equality

Son

The heart of a lion in winter
Compassion galore
Empathy in oodles

Smile like the sun
Like the sister

Gentle giant becoming
Fierce warrior gawky
Diamon uncut

Sadnes like a cloud of dust
Surrounds you always

Your responsibility is your life
Not hers
Not his

Stay safe
In an ocean of madness

You are missed always
Every day
Every hour

Old lion’s grey mane
Shaggy grief
Leaves traces in the dust

Mourning

Parental Alienation

Mourning
Time lost
Opportunities lost

My heart breaks
Every day
Watching you wait

I worry
Every day
That the sadness will take over
Engulf you too much

I am sad
For them
I know how no dad feels like
The echo is still painful

The border between
The three of you
Isn’t permanent
But it might as well be

The Mexican wall
Is her manipulation
As intangible as the other narcissist’s dream
But solid and prohibiting
All the same

They are lost on the other side
With no way to cross

Their covert and overt attempts
Scrambled
Under a gaslight burning so much oxigen
They can’t breathe anymore

Meanwhile you try to build wings
With duct tape so old it won’t hold anymore
Meanwhile you try to build a bridge
But the Lego bricks are brittle
Meanwhile you try to make a door
But the rusty hinges are jammed

You never know if they know
Off your attempts to scale the wall
You never know if they think
You abandoned them

That’s what’s on the propaganda channels
All day
All night
No matter how often they try to change the channel

They do not see your pain
They do not see your grief
They do not see your sadness
They do not see your broken hopes

The radio is too loud
There is some advertisement in-between the propaganda
Positive reinforcement with expensive presents
The media output is relentless
The words are vile

They cannot hear you hammer
They cannot hear you cry

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