Summertime

And the livin’ ain’t easy

Summertime
And you make me queezy

Summertime
And you are miserable

Summertime
And your soul is in the darkest winter

Summertime
And I let go
Your winter is not my cold to fight
Your darkness is not mine to carry

Your hate is a reflection from your mirror
Your bile is oozing back into your soul
The hurt you cause comes back to you sevenfold

I release you
I release you from me
I release me from you

I release you from your pain
I release you from the fog
I release you from your self-imposed shackles
I release you from your hate
I release you from your revenge
I release you from your perpetrator
I release you from your victimhood
I release you back into the wild

Geh mit Gott aber geh

Warning harsh language!

we are caught in dichotomies
things are either black
or white

but this is not how we heal
we heal in the inbetween spaces

we heal in odem of prayer
we heal in unconditional love

but

but

but

I hate your guts
I hate everything you stand for
I hate your manipulation
I hate your abuse
I hate your lies
I hate your pettiness
I hate your professional victimhood
I hate your refusal to live
I hate your refusal to heal
I hate your anger
I hate your darkness
I hate your violence
I hate your hate
I even hate the hairs on your toes

but

I want you to heal
I want you to live
I want you to look in the mirror
I want you to see the light
I want you to take your pain
to really take it
and then let it go

I want you to fucking heal

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There was some debate lately in various forums with people of the healing ilk, about the nature of healing, boundary setting, professional victims, and expectations of some to ‘be healed’ not ‘do the healing’ … you know the whole leading the horse to water thing. And opinions seem to vary from clear cut: at some point someone needs a kick in the groin or at least be shunned, to: Love! Love as healing everything. So in my mixed medium art and the poem above I tried to show the crass dichotomy between love and hate, and in the poem the healer being caught in anger about someone passing on pain, being abusive, but the healers urge to still wanting to fix it.

There is a reason for fairy tales

for tales we tell again and again
and yet we don’t seem to learn
from these tales of ours

as they repeat over and over and over
again

a different place
a different time
and different characters

sometimes
somewhere
somewhen

some of us
parallel
reenact
the same story

a story that has already been told
a story of pain
a story of hurt pride
a story of too much ego
a story that ultimately ends in regret

yet still
we spin the tale
we walk the path
we repeat the story
to be passed on
by us

to be heard
and forgotten
and repeated

just

in a slightly different version

so

What’s your story?

Abuse

when the abuser believes to be the victim
when they don’t see the damage they cause
when they cry wolf to distract from grey fur showing through the sheep skin
when everyone but a few understand exactly who the wolf is
when their manipulation freys at the edges
when happiness threatens their reality
when their forgetting isn’t holding in the demons anymore
whereever they turn the demons are everywhere
there is no escape

An act of writing

Is an act of self-care
An act of connecting
An act of healing
An act of civic duty
An act of kindness
An act of giving voice

Voice to the voiceless
the unseen
the unheard

Sometimes just
the unseen parts of us
the unheard sorrows
the unwitnessed joys that pepper loneliness and make it more acute

An act of writing
Is an act of being
An act of forgiving
An act of punishing

An act of self-truth
I am never that far away from my writing

An act of writing
Is holding up the mirror
to our selves–if we want or not
we are blindsided into looking at our reflection

The mirror is sneaky like that

An act of writing is weaving threads
We are all one
In the end

Hold

Hold my coffee and watch me!
Hold onto life as if you could.
Hold out for better things
Hold me tight!
Hold on for the ride.
Don’t hold your breath.

What else have you been told to hold?
How much do you unwittingly carry?
How often have you waited in vain?
How much have you relied on others to carry you?
Are you enjoying the ride; or are you too concerned?
Are you still not breathing properly?

Let air into your lungs.
Raise your chest.
Make a noise as the flow enters your nose.
Make a huff as you release.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Take in.
Let go.
In flow.

Love Lost

I long
But you, you play
I burn
But you, you freeze
I crave
But you, you starve
I seek
But you, you hide

I speak
But you won’t hear
I sing
But you won’t listen
I paint
But you won’t see
I write
But you won’t read

So here I stand
Just me
No more
No less

But you, you cannot see
Me

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For C: I could after all do it …

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